I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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