tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize