Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
