dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize