I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
