We're facebook friends in real life
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
