i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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