Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Only a mothe r could love this liver
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize