Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
