drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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