Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
