Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
