he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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