i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we made out on top of his cat.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
