You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
