I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
