there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
