I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Found your dick twin last night
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
