and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
