i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
