I want to walk on stilts...naked
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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