so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
