Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
