I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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