we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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