So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
