So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
