If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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