Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
