Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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