I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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