I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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