I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
