I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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