i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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