I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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