plz talk dirty to me
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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