I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize