Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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