At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
