I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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