bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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