I hope mine doesn't look like that
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
