i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
