We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
