I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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