Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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