mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
where am i from again
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize