I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize
