Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
