There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Randomize
