butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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