You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
