Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
