I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
one might say we're banned from that church
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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