Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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