Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
