I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
