so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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