So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
nutella sex= disaster
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
