I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
