Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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