Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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