why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
