I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dignity is for republicans.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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