don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
